to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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