I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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