im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
