In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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