are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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