my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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