yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
