Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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