Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
