Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
