Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize