so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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