If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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