Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
