Did you just see the Batmobile???
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
