My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
