so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Who died my cat blue again?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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