I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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