Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
