wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
