i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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