Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
