How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
