i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
