My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
