oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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