So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
