it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
