i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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