Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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