I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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