I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
