Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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