You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize