I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
