Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
