hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
