So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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