i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Randomize
