so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
