marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
