New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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