people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
