She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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