do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
