The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
wow bdsm is so cute
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
