Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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