If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
