I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
