ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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