I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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