I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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