if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
