It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
