I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
