why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
two words...techno handjob
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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