and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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