i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
