how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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