We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
