she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
