Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
