im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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