i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize